 |
| How should you do when your wife exchanges glances with other men |
A husband shared that: I'm in to an arranged marriage (~6 months old). I love my wife and do a lot of things to make her feel happy. I do trust her. But off late I have noticed she exchanges glances with other men when we go out. Like at a coffee shop with a guy sitting on the other table or guy at the grocery store etc. I don't know if I can call it flirting. This is making me insecure. I'm very disturbed. How do I deal with this?
Reply: Your wife exchanges glances with other men, and with other women, and with puppies and kittens… because we navigate by sight.
Think about it. Of course she exchanges glances with other people. And when she interacts with other people, she looks at them, because that’s normal social behavior.
If it makes you insecure that she looks at other people, what would you have her do? Always keep her eyes downcast? Never leave the house?
Other woman said that: In my mind, I’m not picturing glancing, as it’s normal to look around a room or a group of people. I think you’re talking aboout staring too long.
It sounds like the two of you are very young, and she's still a little bit curious about how she ranks in the scheme of things. She wants to know that she's got it, but she hasn't really worked out what's appropriate. I'm afraid the two of you need to discuss it.
She shouldn't be having too many of these looks while you're there, as it's simply not polite. And she should be made aware, consciously, that if she looks too much, men will make efforts towards her, and may not stop, even when she asks them to. It's not a good position to get in as a married woman, as it can not only hurt your relationship, but possibly hurt both of you physically as well. Noticing another attractive person is one thing, acknowleding them or any person with a hello, is one thing, connecting with a man is not wise in a social situation you haven’t agreed on.
Tell her that you have faith and trust in her, and you need her to be more conscious of her behavior now. And if once in a while, the two of you would like to play "stranger" together, it might be fun!
It's important that you stay understanding of her position and listen to her. And also that you remain someone that she can talk to. The first two years of any marriage are often the hardest. What you do now defines your habits for many years to come. Stay cool and light-hearted. Let her be an imperfect person, and that will pay off by giving you a loyal lady who likes you and wants to earn and keep your trust.
How does she feel about you? Is she unhappy? Would she stay with you if she had a choice? Did she have a choice to marry you or was she "forced" through pressure? Are you a real couple, or is it all an act? How do you feel about her? Do you look at other women?
These are all questions you need to ask yourself. If she didn't want to marry you, and she's unhappy, then there's nothing you can do. It's like putting a bird in a tiny cage and putting the cage outside. You can put in toys and treats and treat it well, but it will never be happy if all it wants to do is fly with other birds. If she has feelings for you and wants to make this work like a real marriage, then tell her that her actions hurt you, and ask her to stop.
A grandmother said that: I think you need to stop worrying. You are making yourself miserable for no reason. I think you are being irrational about the supposed danger to your marriage because you aren't talking enough with your wife about your feelings. Try talking to her instead. Between the two of you, you should be able to come to an agreement about how both of you conduct yourself when out in public.
 |
| Your wife wants to have a wife exchange |
I think, all the tips above are wrong. Really, this his wife, as well as many other women, are hungry for change the husbands, and want to find a strange sensation during sex. She wants to have sex with a new man. So let her be involved in wife & husband changing (swapping)
Please read more about:
Should you wife swap
Should I share my wife