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| How to make love with your clothes on (all guide) |
As much as you may want to strip down to your bare ass for elevator sex, it’s rarely a good idea. Unless, of course, you’re in an abandoned building where no one uses the elevator, but then would you really want to do that? Like what if the elevator gets stuck, your phone dies, and then you have to decide who’s going to eat who to survive? No fun.
But my point is, there are times when it’s just best to keep your clothes when it comes to having sex. There’s also an element of hotness there, too: You’re clothed, but you’re getting it on, and it just feels good, like you're getting away with something. Seriously. If you haven’t tried it, you should.
So the next time you want to get it on, but know you should keep your clothes on, here are seven sex positions you can totally pull off and still thoroughly enjoy.
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| How to make love with your clothes on (all guide) |
Yes, sex feels better when you're in the nude. (Actually, so does almost everything.) But the heat of the moment is its own reward, too. If you don't have the opportunity to strip down—maybe you've only got time for a quickie—here are expert-approved tips to help you make the best of a clothed situation.
1. Find easy access to her breasts.
The bra is not your friend. The purpose of its existence is to bind and restrict her breasts. Since you can't rip it off completely, take your hand and slide the straps off her shoulders. Then fold the cups down so her breasts are free under her shirt. "Now that the bra is out of the way, you'll be able to rub her breasts and squeeze her nipples with ease, and she can still get the bra back on quickly if needed," says Cassie Fuller, co-owner of A Touch of Flavor, a sex education company.
2. Leave her panties on.
If you're really pressed for time and she's wearing a skirt, simply tug her skivvies to the side and enter her, suggests sex educator and adult film star Jessica Drake. To make things even hotter, massage her clitoris with the panties' fabric while you're thrusting.
3. Use her buttons wisely.
Few sights are sexier than a beautiful woman slowly unbuttoning her shirt. While she might not have time to take the entire thing off, pop a few of her buttons yourself to gain access to her breasts, or simply to sneak a peekaboo view during sex. Open the shirttails to twist up hard against her body. Or use the buttons to slow sex down. “It’s great to learn to open buttons with your teeth,” says Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., a board-certified clinical sexologist. Try the move during every sex session, because practice makes perfect.
4. Turn your zipper into a sex toy.
If you leave your pants on, your zipper's in prime position to match up with her clitoris. Have her grind against you. "Pant seams, whether they have your penis concealed against them or not, can also be perfect for her to rub against," says Van Kirk.
5. Enjoy sweater weather.
Hopefully it's warm where you are. But when fall and winter rear their heads later this year, use the chilly air to your advantage. Remove her bra and let the wool in her sweater graze her nipples, adding a new sensation. If it's cold enough for a scarf, use it in foreplay to pull her toward you, suggests sex educator Dr. Sonjia, author of Sex in South Beach. If she is agreeable, tie her hands together and take control as you slowly tease her.
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| How to make love with your clothes on (all guide) |
The best sex I ever had didn't include intercourse. I was making out with an ex who I was considering reuniting with, but I wanted to keep our sexual interactions relatively innocent until I decided if I wanted to let him back in emotionally. As we kissed, his jeans-enclosed thigh rubbed between my legs. It felt so silly, so adolescent, so not like what grown-ups do—until he kept at it and I had one of the biggest orgasms of my life.
For me, orgasms tend to be slightly complicated experiences that involve a lot of fantasy and brain negotiations, so it was all the more pleasurable to have one that snuck up on me. It was not unlike (and yet totally unlike) the thrill I get when the chiropractor distracts me with a joke so that I'll relax enough to allow him to adjust my neck.
My experience falls into what's known as outercourse, or sex without penetration. You might call it foreplay or write it off as an activity for purity-ring wearers, but it can be surprisingly satisfying for people who bid adieu to their virginity decades ago.
"Outercourse is a great option because it helps women forget there's a goal, so they can just enjoy the feelings and sensations of the ride," says sex educator Jamye Waxman, coauthor of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight! "It gets them out of their brains and into their bodies."
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| How to make love with your clothes on (all guide) |
In long-term relationships, outercourse can also shake up same-old same-old bedroom rituals. "If getting naked isn't even a second thought, sex can become routine," says licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist Lori Buckley, Ph.D. "But if you experiment with, say, dry humping, you can create anticipation and remind each other of what it was like when you first met." This can also be reminiscent of when sex was taboo and forbidden—"My mom might walk in on us!"—and that alone can be arousing.
Because men tend to be rather outcome oriented, it may require coaxing to get your partner to be willing to take things from R to PG-13. Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., author of The Good Girl's Guide to Bad Girl Sex, suggests whispering, "Let's pretend we're not allowed to have actual sex." Or, says Barbara Carrellas, author off Ecstasy Is Necessary and Urban Tantra, "Just saying 'This could be even hotter than what we normally do' will go a long way toward tempting a partner to try something different."
Outercourse isn't just clothing-optional tussling, either. Here's how to use your fingers, mouth, and breath—even what you're wearing—to make the most of taking it slow.
Ditch the Bedroom
You don't need to get a room to flirt with outercourse. Rub up against your partner—discreetly—in any situation you'd like. Perhaps, inspired by a slinky ensemble, in the corner at a cocktail party? Or if that requires a bit more audacity than you're up for, make an average Netflix session better by starting on the couch: While you're spooning, try reaching behind you and running your hand across the front of his pants. "If you can sustain rubbing up against each other and not doing anything else, it will bring up more energy and sensation than you'll know what to do with," says Waxman. No matter where you get grabby, avoid the temptation to continue in the usual place. "I recommend fooling around on any piece of furniture but the bed," says Waxman. Try the kitchen table, against the bedroom wall, or on the (hopefully carpet-covered) floor.
Boost the Sensation
Since you won't be naked—at least not at first!—wear something that feels good against your skin (besides him pressed up against you). Think satin, silk, or cotton. "It's best if you're both wearing fabrics that will enhance the experience," says Buckley. "Cotton is going to be better than wool. Loose-fitting pants are going to rub right, while jeans may just cause pain." Also think about alternating the sensation. "Try switching between furry and silky," says Carrellas. That doesn't mean you have to make like an actress and change outfits mid-session—just keep a fuzzy robe, throw, or even socks nearby.
Just Breathe
The way you touch each other should be more inspired when you're not going straight for the usual target. "Genital stimulation is important, but so is teasing, anticipation, and the eroticism of doing something you're not used to," says Buckley. Getting breathy can go a long way toward heightening pleasure. "Alternate cool and hot breaths over your partner's underwear," says Carrellas. "For hot breath, open your mouth and exhale with your mouth close to the fabric; for cool breath, purse your lips as if you were blowing out a birthday candle and do so from farther away." Ask him to do the same to you. When you can no longer keep your hands off him, alternate faster, more intense strokes with softer ones. If he's not naked, Waxman suggests that you "think of his underwear as a foreskin and slide it up and down"—as long as his boxers are chafe-free silk or spandex.
Body of Work
One of the benefits of sidelining intercourse is that you'll be reminded that you both also have touchable fingers, arms, and legs.
"Oftentimes, rubbing up against a thigh will feel better for a woman than rubbing up against a penis, simply because there's a larger area to work with and she doesn't have to worry about hurting him," says Buckley. If you want him to explore other parts of your body, Waxman suggests guiding him toward your belly or the two indentations in your lower back above the buttocks. And inevitably, all this focused, intense, no-sex sex may mean that outercourse will eventually lead to intercourse. Which, of course, is great. We're all adults here.
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| How to make love with your clothes on (all guide) |
Make Outercourse More Intense
Speak easy. Confident questions are a turn-on, says Dana B. Myers, founder of Booty Parlor, which makes luxe bedroom accessories. Try, "You love that I like to be touched like that, don't you?"
Be a tease. "Touch your partner everywhere but on his genitals until he's screaming for it," suggests Carrellas.
Get mouthy. Myers suggests trying light biting and upside-down kisses, as well as putting his fingers in your mouth, tugging at his shirt with your teeth, and tracing your tongue along his inner thighs.
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